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Troubled teens have been known to put up fences. There may be a certain number of topics which you may experience a great deal of difficulty speaking to your teen about. What do you do if there is something you wish to speak to your teen about, but he or she doesn’t want to respond? At the time of adolescence, a teen may begin to fence up the vulnerable issues that may have an affect on his or her self-image or self-concept. These fenced up areas may be referred to as comfort zones.
Do not be discouraged by your teen’s fences
If you were to talk to him or her about a certain sensitive topic, the conversation may only go so far because of the set fences that he or she has put up. But do not be discouraged. The boundaries of comfort that a teenager may feel can expand. And they can expand with your help. An important key to broadening your teenager’s comfort zones is not to shock him or her.
Even if you would like him or her to be extremely open to you about a certain topic, don’t push it. Once you notice the signs in your teen that he or she is beginning to feel uncomfortable, it would be a good idea to ease up before he or she snaps. Once your teenager feels threatened by your questions and he or she retreats into his or her own boundaries, it will be even harder to bring him or her back out. You want to make the most of your teenager’s comfort zones, while gently coaxing him or her to slowly widen the area of these zones bit by bit until you may reach the point of openness you seek.
Take time to relax with your teen
An interesting strategy that a parent may use in order to broaden a teen’s comfort zones is to not focus on whatever issue you would like to discuss and take the time to simply have fun with your teen. Take him or her out for a simple game of basketball or a movie session, without any pressure of needing to provide answers to the questions you may be wondering about.
By simply having fun with your teen, you are giving him or her time to relax. Relaxation may give him or her a chance to let his or her guard down about sensitive issues. Once you feel that he or she may be willing to open up to you, don’t rush in to the heavy questions just yet. Instead, opt to utilize humor to keep your teenager open and the atmosphere relaxed. As an alternative to a direct question, opt to nearly graze the issue with a joke and observe closely how your teen may react. From here, you may gauge his or her comfort zones and make the appropriate actions.
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