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Cause 1: Hazy guidelines
A major cause of a teenager’s defiant behavior can be a lack of distinct guidelines, imparted clearly from parent (you) to child (him). Most of the time, rules or penalties which are just spoken of or easily changed, do not earn the proper respect of your child. If you do not specify exactly what actions or behaviors you frown upon then your teenager may end up taking you on a roller-coaster ride of loopholes!
Taking everything you say literally can just be one favorite hobby of your teen. In order to fight this, be concrete.
Cause 2: Underestimating your teenager
Another point which can contribute to your teen’s misbehavior is your own underestimation of him. If you do not keep yourself fully aware of your teenager’s full capabilities and the different possibilities that he may turn to when looking for a way around a given penalty, then you’re digging a whole for yourself to fall into.
When faced with a penalty, your defiant teen will try and look for a way out. It may help to even think of back-up penalties to use in place of set ones in order to keep yourself a step ahead of your teenager in the case of him trying to avoid original penalties. It’s never a waste to ask your self, What if? By thinking things through beforehand, you can lessen the chances of your teenager thinking them through ahead of you.
Cause 3: Letting your teen get on your nerves
A classic part of defiant teen behavior is when he presses your buttons. Most of the time when your teenager disagrees with something you say he may begin to purposely get you pissed. This may be accomplished in a myriad of ways, like through cursing or offensive body language.
Sadly, it may seem like your adolescent knows exactly what ticks you off. They are aware that if they get you emotional vulnerable then your sound judgment will be affected. And this may make it easier for them to wriggle through the penalties they are facing. This is a prime example of why your penalties may seem useless. The issue here isn’t the penalty, but the way you implement it.
Don’t let it reach a point where you’ll lose your cool, for then you’ll be just as immature as your own child. And this will only make it harder to be a parent to him when guidance is what he needs most. You shouldn’t let your set penalties go to waste.
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