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Providing immediate answers to their problems
Believe it or not, teenagers may not exactly be after an instant solution when they approach you with an issue. Sometimes, all a teenager really needs is for someone to be there to listen. When faced with an issue, a troubled teen can tend to feel all alone. He is experiencing his feelings in a way that only he can, and in turn he expects an individual, personal response to his feelings.
It wouldn’t seem right to him to be given a generalized answer to his problem. Take the time to really listen to your teen, so he won’t feel compelled to seek help elsewhere. Sometimes listening itself is the answer.
Placing them under the spotlight of interrogation about their restlessness
If you choose to constantly question your child’s restlessness at a period which is distinctly characterized by mood shifts and hesitation, then you are just making things all the harder for your teen. Take it easy on your teen. It must be difficult to try and put these changes going through his body and mind into clear words.
It would also be futile on your part to ask questions which really have no clear answers. Do both of yourselves a favor and leave nature to its course. Feelings like those mentioned normally disappear on their own.
Non-acceptance of displays of individuality
Whatever changes you may notice in your teen’s image may be natural expressions of his individuality. If you instantly meet these changes with disapproval, you can expect conflict to arise. If your focus is completely on what may appear to be eccentricity in their manner of dress/style, you may lose sight of other more important issues that your adolescent may be facing (like substance abuse).
Your concern and efforts should not be wasted on displays of individuality which may not be harmful to your teenager in actuality. Instead, you should be more concerned with matters that can affect their well-being, not just appearance.
Focusing on the negative
As the parent of your teenager, when you criticize him/her you can significantly affect or alter one’s self-concept. By focusing on the negative, you may wear down a teen’s otherwise healthy self-image. These types of wounds do not just disappear. Going through issues of your teenager in the past as you mention present issues, can definitely weigh him down. You are pushing him away in this manner. But keep in mind that you can also affect his self-concept in a positive way as well. Complement instead of criticize and observe the results.
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