The penalties you decide to implement as parent should have enough weight to actually curb your defiant teen from breaking a particular rule again. If not, consider your limits or guidelines useless.
If the penalties you choose to implement have no weight upon your individual child, then your rules may go by unnoticed. But, the troubled teenager may be unresponsive towards any kind of penalty implemented. He/she may even act rebellious when faced with penalties to endure. As a responsible, concerned parent, what do you do when consequences don’t work?
• First, as easy as it may be to blame your self when you’re faced with problems controlling your unruly teenager—don’t.
• Re-assess the situation. Is there any possible way you can revise your corresponding penalties so as to reclaim proper authority in the household? If so, revise penalties/consequences accordingly.
• Talk to your teenager. Go through your rules with your child once more and try explaining the purpose of your set limits and corresponding penalties.
• If they respond indifferently or rebelliously, seek help from others.
• You may read up on boarding schools, boot camps, wilderness programs, or treatment centers which may prove beneficial for your teenager. Be sure to check the kinds of programs and steps to wellness offered at each school/camp and select a center accordingly.
• In this process, keep your son/daughter’s personality in mind; even as one camp may be well-known it may not be the right one for your individual child.
There’s another issue we must address here—you. Feelings of shame may come
up on your part as a parent. You may be thinking “I can’t handle my own kid!” But it’s important to realize that by seeking outside help when confronted with your teenager and his/her self-destructive behavior, you are handling your child. You are taking charge and reclaiming control over the situation. And by seeking help from outside, you are providing proper guidance.
There are different kinds of places which can provide guidance for your troubled teenager. As mentioned above, there are boot camps, boarding schools, wilderness programs, and an assortment of treatment centers.
Information on
boarding schools,
boot camps,
wilderness programs and
treatment centers can be found here.
Behavioral modification, transport/transitional facilities,
psychotherapy, and
medication may also be useful tools in dealing with your teenagers emotional issues.
It’s good to keep yourself informed of the distinct characteristics of these centers, this may aid you in distinguishing what kind of guidance your teen needs.
