Eliminating Fear
A teen who is faced with a tidal wave of pressure from outside forces needs an equally great amount of support, maybe even more, from those that care for him. Many teens when asked about how they felt when dealing with pressure, replied that they actually wanted to go to their parents for help but were afraid to do so.
As parents, we must eradicate this fear, for it is only counter-productive. Fear can cause immobility. Not only will your teen have trouble stepping forward but he may also lose faith in himself in the process. Support can do wonders for a child’s self-esteem and confidence. Having the confidence to stand before the pressures a teenager faces can mean his overcoming of these pressures. Lacking the self-esteem and appropriate self-concept may mean his fall before them. But how exactly can one show support for his stressed teenager?
First of all, you can eradicate the fear your teen may have in coming to you for help by expressing how much you would like to be there for him. Even in simple scenarios when you are just out having dinner together, try mentioning this. Subtle comments of yours about being open to your child’s problems can awaken his awareness of your loving support. It may also slowly help lessen his fear and apprehension in coming to you with his problems.
Another strategy you may try, is to actually talk about the pressures you remember going through as a teen. This should not exactly be in the “When I was your age...” tone of voice because talking down to your child will only push him away. What you want to do is draw him towards you with a light, open-hearted tone that will not only make him comfortable enough to open up, but let him feel that he is not alone in whatever he may be experiencing.
It is important to consider the kinds of experiences you will relate to your child as well. If you go on about pressures that he may not be able to relate to and no longer exist for teenagers at present, then your opening up may not achieve the desired affect on your child. It may not be as hard as you think to find problems that your teen can relate to. In essence, there are many issues that remain to affect teenagers from generations before until the present.
For example, peer pressure will always be an issue adolescents are faced with. By relating your own experiences with peer pressure, you give your teenager material to connect with. This will leave him with the feeling that he isn’t alone. To provide the best support for your teen, it is vital to make him aware of your loving presence. |
