Searching for an Outlet
Your teenager may be picking fights in order to deal with his emotional wounds. As confusing as that may sound, there is a reason behind it. When a teenager is dealing with emotional issues that he may feel ashamed to talk about, he may keep them bottled up inside for as long as he can.

Whatever aggravations and feelings he has because of them are not expressed and kept encased within. After some time, it becomes unbearable for your teen and he searches for an outlet to deal with his powerful emotions.

Your teen may choose hostility or violent behavior as his outlet. Picking fights and bullying others at school can get his mind off the real issues he may have with himself. It takes off the focus from his own inner emotional turmoil and puts it on others, at least for the time that he is fully engaged in the brawl. He may then even continue to pick fights, when his feelings come back. This will not cease to happen unless the real issue behind his acts of aggression is addressed.

Hard on others, but even harder on themselves

Picking on someone else instead of himself may bring a surprising relief for a teen who gets his first taste of releasing his emotional turmoil through acts of aggression towards others. As ironic as it may appear, psychological counseling has shown that many teenage bullies are as hard or even harder on themselves as they are on those that they bully.

When a teen gets himself into a fight with one of his peers, it may feel as if he is lashing out whatever anger he has bottled up inside. Even the punches he receives or bruises he incurs may provide him with some kind of distorted relief from the mental torture he may be putting on himself in private.

He may feel horrible on the inside, and seeing his bruises on the outside can actually affirm the negativity that exists within. In ways, these bruises are direct manifestations of his own emotional scars.

When your teenager is prone to getting himself into school brawls, at first be sure to sit down with your child and have a talk. If he is willing to open up to your approach then try to dig deeper and look past the wounds of the flesh that are so clearly evident to one’s eye into the wounds of the spirit that your teen may be truly struggling with.