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Most times you may read about what you should do to help your troubled teenager but it’s also important to know what you shouldn’t do. Read on to know more about a parent’s teenage don’ts…
Don’t keep on asking your teen why he can’t sit still, or the classic question “What has gotten into you?” These questions don’t come off as understanding remarks for a parent and they may tend to sound insulting to your teen. If he did have some idea why he was acting that way, it would be hard for him to answer: Dad, I’m torn between two worlds my childhood and the start of adolescence. Don’t over-do your understanding. It can make your teen feel like you’re taking their problems too lightly if you provide them with instant understanding. By saying that you know exactly how he must be feeling, you may actually be making him feel that his feelings are nothing special or different. You can still show him that you understand him without undervaluing his uniqueness. Don’t equate acceptance with approval. Quarreling with a teenager can be an invitation to disaster. Don’t copy the way they talk or act. Teens want to be different. If you copy them, they’ll find an even more peculiar way to do or say a certain thing. Don’t collect your teen’s mistakes in a jar. A number of parents tend to religiously pick on their teenager’s mistakes. Your teen should know that he needn’t be reminded of his imperfections all the time. Don’t focus more on his past, but more on his present. Many parents enjoy reminiscing about their teenager’s childhood years to a point where it can get a bit uncomfortable to their teen who has just gotten on the bridge to growing up. Don’t make your teen feel extremely dependent on you. Adolescence is a time where teens hunger for growing independence. If we hold them back, they may just respond in defiance or hostility. Know when to intervene. Don’t give in to the urge to point out how you are right all the time. If you say “I told you so” at every turn, your teen may just end up answering you back with bitterness. Don’t violate your teen’s privacy. As much as you may want to check up on everything from your teen’s cell phone to email messages, by providing them with the respect of privacy they will feel respected themselves. Don’t preach with clichés. As soon as a teenager may hear the phrase “When I was your age” he may automatically stop listening.
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