Take Control of your Teenager | No Thanks
Help for Troubled Teenagers Forum  


Quite a change, Quite a reason! - 2007/04/17 09:29 My 14 year old used to be such a sweetheart when he was younger. He got A's and B's and he was well behaved. Now, he gets straight C's and is more obnoxious then I've ever seen him. I thought that was all, but I was definatley wrong. The other day, a few of his friends (that were girls) and his girlfriend came to my house when he wasn't home. They said that they can't keep it inside any longer. My son is a big skater, so I let him go to his favorite skate park mostly everyday. His friends told me that everytime he goes there, he smokes pot with his "gang". I've never seen any sign of it, so at first I didn't believe it. But then, one of the girls (his ex) told me then he called her a few times while he was stoned. She also told me that he said he had lost his virginity over summer of 06. Obviously, at that point, I was hysterically crying, and there's more! Another one of the friends had told me that a lot of days in class, he would sing some song with the line "smokin' on purple!" which, I guessed, means pot, and he'd pretend to smoke an invisible joint while he was singing. I didn't know what to do, but then his girlfriend said she thinks she might know the reason. She said that he tells her that when I'm not in the room or when I'm not home, my husband - his stepfather - would hit him. That is what I didn't understand. I never thought he would do anything like that! And I don't understand why my son wouldn't come to me and tell me. It's hard for me to talk to anyone ever since then, and I'm starting to get a bit frightened now when I go near my husband. I need to confront both my son and my husband, but I have no idea how! I don't want me or anyone else to get hurt, and I feel like a horrible mother for not being aware of what's going on in my sons life. What am I supposed to do?
  | | The administrator has disabled public write access.
Re:Quite a change, Quite a reason! - 2007/04/30 10:16 Now that someone has brought all these issues to your attention, confrontation and communication is a must despite your feelings of apprehension. Don’t be overcome by fear, think that it is normal to feel but cling to your inner strength in order to confront your husband and your son for his own betterment. If in confrontation you believe that asking will hurt those involved then someone must get hurt in order to make things better. Don’t waste anytime feeling horrible for any unawareness. Take the precious time you have now to act, and by doing this you are being as great a mother as you can be with the situation at hand. Talk to your son and ask your husband straight. Once the communication is clear, make the moves you must in order to help wounds heal.
  | | The administrator has disabled public write access.
Re:Quite a change, Quite a reason! - 2007/05/17 15:30 I agree. But of course this will not be too easy. In any case don't be disheartened, and keep a lot of courage. Everything will be all right soon.

___________________
luke07
Drug Rehabilitation Program --Learn more about drug rehabilitation program options
  | | The administrator has disabled public write access.
Re:Quite a change, Quite a reason! - 2007/09/23 14:53 how is your relationship with your husband? you definately need to address how you feel about this but it might take you asking your son about it to see what he says first... if so what are you willing to do about it...... your son probably hangs out at the skate park to avoid your husband.... and when you son is learning from his friends what feels good and how to not think about his hard feelings then he is learning about things that will make him a lot older than he has to be... you really have to make a change in his freedom spending his leisure time.. show up there ... talk to his friends... be involved to the point where he knows that you will be there so he does not have the time because you are holdin him accountable for all his free time ... ask him specifics and follow up .... this is the only way to help curb his behavior and he will not like it but he will live and it is up to you to be firm and be a bug in his rear and all his friends butts because late he will thank you .....
  | | The administrator has disabled public write access.