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Boardwalk :: Forum List Reading the Signs Problem teen or normal behaviour?
Mar1968
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Boyfriend problem - 2007/03/08 08:37 I have a 16 year old daughter who was dating who we thought was a 17 year old boy, found out he is 20!! Made her end the relationship and no contact was to be made. 4 months later, we thought everything was finally getting back to normal only to find out she has been seeing this BOY behind our backs the whole time!! Per the Law, nothing illegal about the 20 year old dating my daughter. Took her to Dr. and thankfully she has as of yet not had sex. Do to the situation I needed to know if she had for possible prosecution. I work swing shift and cannot be home 24 / 7 I feel I have lost all control of her and don't know what to do now. She doesn't listen to anyone with any athority. Since she is almost of age am trying to keep her in my residence till she graduates high school and hopefully goes to college. He is not overall a "bad" kid, but, they lied to me twice. And I don't want to forbid it again for fear she will bolt. Please help.
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Re:Boyfriend problem - 2007/03/08 22:25 When it comes to young romance, it is definitely hard to restrain teenagers (think of the Romeo and Juliet complex). And you’re right, in most cases the more a parent tries to keep them apart the more they will want to be together. Aside from your concern regarding your daughter’s virginity, it is more significant that you have made your daughter aware of sexual issues (safe sex, proper protection from std’s etc.) Think of it as “crash-car” protection. Of course you wouldn’t want your own teen to ever be in an “accident” but you must prepare for the worst to ensure your daughter’s safety. As much as you do want to keep her with you, it will really be her decision when she reaches 18. But you can encourage her to further her education while she is still under your roof. Talk to her, explain why her lying to you was wrong, and make it clear to her that communication is better than hiding things from you.
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Re:Boyfriend problem - 2007/03/17 16:56 I feel a bit nervous about offering my own advice to your situation, as every teenage is different, as if every family situation. But while bringing up my niece on my own, she has bought home a veritable circus of young men (she is now 17). Some have been older, like the situation you have described. This may sound very harsh, but it might be important to address why your daughter lied to you. I'm sure she is not just lying to you for the sake of it. Although it's difficult to accept as a parent, after a point it is impossible to control what your teen does. It is much more important that they are safe in whatever they DO choose to do, and that they feel they can go to you honestly and without fear of recrimination. I wish you the best of luck. Shalom.
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Boardwalk :: Forum List Reading the Signs Problem teen or normal behaviour?

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