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Boardwalk :: Forum List Reading the Signs Problem teen or normal behaviour?
sadmom
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virtual girlfriend - 2007/09/24 22:34 My son turned 17 a few months ago, he has been playing a card game online with his xbox for about 5 months. He has never been the outgoing type, always has kept to himself, but lately he has been very defiant. He has met a girl in CA on this particular game, she is on one coast, and we are on the other. I didnt see any harm in him talking to this girl, but now, that is all he does. We had to put rules with the cell phone, he can only talk to her for ahour and a half in the evening. Then we have to take the cell phone from him. When we started doing this, all hell broke loose. It was like taking drugs from a drug addict. Needless to say, we are in counseling over this. Im wondering though, what do you do when he has never even met this girl? He does have a web cam and she has one too (we do know it is a 17 year old girl). If we try to discourage him with her, he becomes enraged. This girl seems to be troubled as well, so Im wondering what to do? Will this thing fizzle? Is this the norm now with the online games?
Will he outgrow this?
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tti_admin
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Re:virtual girlfriend - 2007/09/25 10:15 It is good that you are aware of your son’s cyber relationship situation and have observed the problems involved. Of all the matters which a parent can advise a teenager about, personal relationships or adolescent romance can be some of the hardest to get through. Relationships during the period of adolescence can negatively affect a teenager’s focus on important activities if they are not handled responsibly. Young love can also spark that want to be next to the other whenever possible, or in this case talk to each other all the time. Advice from friends and family can be ignored when a teen is really set on his own point of view. It is a good thing that he is in counseling about his behavior regarding this situation. Another thing you could do is have someone outside of his circle comment on his cyber-girlfriend situation. Sometimes it just takes a totally objective view from another to help a teen finally realize the truth that stands before him. When you talk to your teen yourself, telling him that you think his girlfriend may be having a negative effect on him, it will cause him to react in defiance. What you could do is introduce your son to social activities which will get him involved with his peers and hanging out with those close to him rather than being online 24/7 getting serious with a girl who happens to live farther along. This way you won’t make it obvious to him that you are taking his attention away from her, but rather getting him entertained and active. This type of situation actually does happen to quite a number of teens who enjoy being sociable online. If you aren’t happy with the type of company he keeps online, find him company he’ll enjoy outside.
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Boardwalk :: Forum List Reading the Signs Problem teen or normal behaviour?

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