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Boardwalk :: Forum List Reading the Signs Problem teen or normal behaviour?
Jill
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14 Year Old Daughter - 2008/06/14 09:26 I have a 14 year old daughter that recently lied to me about where she was going & was with an 18 year old boy. They were involved in a bad wreck, which is how I found out where she was. After this happened, I decided to search her room & see if I could find out a little more as to why she lied to me. I found a box of notes & read them. My daughter & her friends were passing notes about being high, having sex (with males & females) & smoking. In a couple of the notes my daughter stated that she was bisexual & had been having sex for awhile. I don't know how to handle this situation. Currently she is at her dad's since he is home all day after just having surgery. But, she will be home soon & doesn't have a clue that I have found this box. She knew that I would be spring cleaning her room while she was gone, but I think she didn't think I would open the box. Please help! I don't want to make her mad enought that she runs away, but I also don't want to sugar coat these issues. Jill
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Re:14 Year Old Daughter - 2008/06/17 09:46 After discovering the notes revealing your daughter’s sexual behavior, what you can try to do is take her aside and have a frank talk with her about the possible repercussions of her irresponsible behavior. By being direct yet not necessarily fuming, you can be able to have her open up more to you herself and not scare her away. The physical changes of adolescence bring along an awakening sexuality which may lead to experimentation. Studies have shown that starting your children with an open relationship early on improves the chances that they will go to you for answers to questions that trouble them in the future. Openness and awareness are two key concepts you should foster in your teenagers.
Regarding your mention of her drug use, her physical health is at hand and this must be addressed. You can have your teen talk with a counselor, not necessarily telling her that the reason behind the session is her use of drugs so as not to scare her away.
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Jill
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Re:14 Year Old Daughter - 2008/06/23 06:36 I took your advise & sat her down & talked to her. I'm not so sure that she really realizes that I'm not here to make her life a living hell but to help her. I tried to get her to understand what I went thru as a teen acting like she is but all I got was "Ok mom. I really don't want to here about your life." Hopefully some of what I said sank in. Thanks for the advise. Jill
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Boardwalk :: Forum List Reading the Signs Problem teen or normal behaviour?

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