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Help for Troubled Teenagers Forum  


Negative self-image - 2006/08/24 23:41 I think that my daughter may have bad self-image/self-concept which was mentioned in one of the articles in the site. If she passes a mirror or a reflection of herself I catch her muttering things—negative comments about her looks or her body. And at dinnertime when the whole family comes together to talk about matters, if she’s given a compliment for something good she always negates it. It’s like she won’t even give herself a chance to except the idea of really having qualities that she can be proud of. At first, I was thinking that this could all be signs of self-confidence issues but after observing her further I think this is much deeper than that. It feels like, in a way, she’s at war with herself.
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Re:Negative self-image - 2006/08/24 23:43 The negative comments that you catch her making about herself and the way that she negates any form of compliment given to her appear to be clear signs of a distorted self-concept. You’re gut feeling may most definitely be correct about this being more deeper than self-confidence issues. When there is a problem with teenage self-concept, you or a counselor will have to slowly get to the root of the problem. It will take a great amount of patience if you really want to stop hearing your daughter put herself down the way she does now. Self-concept is a foundation of her being, and to turn this around will take constant reaffirmation. If she believes strongly in her way of looking at the self, persistence will be required in order to turn the tables.
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Re:Negative self-image - 2006/09/01 01:56 My teenage son also had a similar problem. He was constantly putting himself down. He bullied himself. But I never grew tired of making sure that he heard the positive truth from me. I would fight back every negative remark he made until I grew accustomed to always reminding him of his talents and positive traits. Yes, it did take patience but I believe that any loving parent with concern for his/her child’s self-concept can climb this mountain successfully. My teenager isn’t a teen anymore, he’s in college studying but he did thank me for reminding him that he can achieve what he puts his mind to.
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