Re:need help with teen on drugs - Help for Troubled Teenagers Forum

Take Control of your Teenager | No Thanks

Help for Troubled Teenagers Forum

Boardwalk :: Forum List

Substance Abuse

Drug use and your teen

gincourt
User

Fresh Boarder

Posts: 2

Karma: 0

need help with teen on drugs - 2007/06/06 06:38 my 17 yr. old daughter is doing drugs, pot
cocaine, xanax, i told her to stop she said she stopped
all drugs but pot, she was missing classes, lying
about where she was going, very disrespectful,
calls me horrible names ,wouldnt do chores i asked
her too to do.( only chore is for her to clean up
after herself) we got in an arguement when i
asked her to clean up her room, she walked by me with
a disdained look so i pulled her pony tail in an
attempt to get her back in her room and she
immediately started to hit me several times with her
fists,so i told her to go live at her dad's and
she did. He lets her do what ever she wants and
now i have no contact with her. My 19 year old
daughter tells me it isnt me thats the problem its
her sister. but i love my daughter and i want her
to come back home and not do drugs and follow the
house rules. Her dad is not helpful because he
is out of work and wants me to pay him child
support. What should I do to get her back and help, I
have checked into rehabs for her but the ones i
can afford are like prisons. She is coming home
for a visit this friday. what should i do to keep
her home, i have sole custody.

| | The administrator has disabled public write access.

admin
Admin

Admin

Posts: 72

Karma: 0

Re:need help with teen on drugs - 2007/06/18 16:32 First, in order to get your daughter to communicate with you when she comes back for a visit, try a positive approach so as not to intimidate her. Even if her previous reactions have been disrespectful, choosing a positive warm approach can help in getting her to open up to you as her freedom does not feel threatened in any way. Your unconditional love for your daughter ,despite the reactions which she may have given your disciplining, is beautiful. If your daughter is truly struggling with substance abuse, rehab is a definite must. Try your best to find a suitable program because a drug addiction is not something that a troubled teenager can just snap out of. She will most likely respond to this idea with defiance, but in order to ease your way into getting her to let you help her-- start her out with a warm hug when she enters the door. Don't mention the rehab program as you are still getting her to warm up to ýou first. Let her feel the love from you and work slowly from there. Goodluck!

| | The administrator has disabled public write access.

kid4lif4
User

Fresh Boarder

Posts: 3

Karma: 0

Re:need help with teen on drugs - 2007/09/23 14:38 first of all at this point she and you have a relationship that is out of balance ... i dont know how you and her interact but i would have to guess that she does not respect your authority and this is a result of allowing her to get what she wanted for some time ... i bet it is easier to give her what she wants than to endure her tantrums and threats .. do you know her closest friends and their parents? if not you can bet you dont know your daughter like you think you do ... if you had a close relationship with all of her friends and made it a point to her that you will do what it takes to be involved and have the right to say no to her for her best interests.... the only way to get closer to her now is to have expectations for her that make her choose the right choice or she will not be under your house... if you do not draw the lines she will not respect you .. especially when she gets mad and you cave in .... kids really do like it when their parents are involved .. not at the time but later .. she will think back to her ill advised youth but remember that you always held her accountable ... have you tried to sit down and ask her what she really wants to do ....? i mean just talk to her without correcting her or telling her anything ... let her tell you who she is ... without her having to worry about you getting upset or mad .... because it isnt like she isnt doing what she wants now anyway ... so when you make ultimatums . they are merely words that you have said before many times.... remember it is never too late to start changing how you interact with her ..... be firm .. listen to her ... but do not try to buy her off and do not let her make you feel guilty ... she knows your buttons and knows how to get her way .... maybe writing her a letter to tell her about your life will help her understand you and maybe have some similar feelings and see you in a different way ...

some times the right thing gives us bad feelings at the time but later is when you can feel good about who you are and how you have defined yourself by your actions ...

| | The administrator has disabled public write access.

nchappynurse
User

Fresh Boarder

Posts: 2

Karma: 0

Re:need help with teen on drugs - 2008/06/19 02:32 My heart goes out to everyone having to struggle with a teen on drugs. It is truly a heartbreaking situation. Here is my advice on how I cope.

| | The administrator has disabled public write access.