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Boardwalk :: Forum List Reading the Signs Problem teen or normal behaviour?
lzbth
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help - 2007/09/16 15:55 i have a 14 year old daughter who got involved with my 22 year old coworker. this guy acted as a "big brother" to my daughter and she welcomed the idea since she is our only child. we thought at first that nothings wrong about it since he is supposedly a "good & well-behaved" guy and we know his family, aside from the fact that my husband and I treated him as a "kid brother". then we found out that this guy had been manipulating our daughter to hate us and do the things that we told her not to do like wearing inappropriate clothes, belly piercing, and having a boyfriend. he had told my daughter that he will be there for her no matter what. he persuaded my daughter to runaway when i found out that she had a belly piercing (he's the one who signed the consent) and kept her at his house all those times that we & the police were looking for her. we eventually found out and filed charges against this guy.. the problem is... my daughter dont seem to understand that this guy did wrong to us. i found out that she's still trying to communicate with him and writes on her myspace friends that he misses her "fake brother".. what should i do?? please give me good advice. im loosing my mind..
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tti_admin
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Re:help - 2007/09/17 09:38 It can be very hard for a teen girl at 14 to accept the truth when it comes to romance. Like you mentioned, she may as very well been “brain-washed” by this ‘fake brother’ of hers. If you even look behind, to the times when you were a teen, you must remember those petty crushes that drove young girls wild. The problem with this situation is that the petty ‘crush’ that your daughter may have had on this guy probably developed into a full-blown fixation because of how he chose to manipulate the situation at hand. Because of this, it can be hard to get to your daughter in order for her to be on your side and realize that this man is actually on the negative side. What you may opt to do is take things slowly, try not to bombard her with the cold truth because she may just explode and react in total defiance. What you can do is talk to her and gently explain how different details of the whole situation that man got her in are wrong. You can take it part by part and at different times as well, so as not to overwhelm her with one long telling. Try and engage her in conversation and don’t just make it seem like you are lecturing the entire time. Converse back and forth so she can feel comfortable and you both can communicate smoothly. With loving patience, she’ll see your way.
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Boardwalk :: Forum List Reading the Signs Problem teen or normal behaviour?

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