Re:Bad attitude - Help for Troubled Teenagers Forum

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thornbearer
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Bad attitude - 2007/10/11 06:45 I have a 15 year old stepson. He is adhd and has been through alot of counseling. His main temper is defiant. Very mean, has to argue all the time, tries to rule the household, does not have any respect. I am so lost and we have tried so much. Primarily counseling and medication that his phyciatrist put him on. He is one of three of my step kids and I have two of my own. We have tried grounding, chores, etc. Nothing seems to be working. We are not the type to let our kids walk all over us and let them push us around and the 15 yr is constantly undermining us. Breaking things, pushing the other kids around, not showing responsibility and gets mad when he doesnt get his way. I am lost and dont know what to do. Any advice?

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tti_admin
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Re:Bad attitude - 2007/10/11 15:28 If it feels like your teen is ruling the home, it can be definitely discouraging on your part to provide guidance. But here’s the tough part, your teenager is exactly showing that she needs guidance even more!
Once you won’t even come near your troubled teenager because you’re afraid of the war zone a confrontation may cause, you must gather your strength in order to truly help your teen out of her hostile rut. If your teenager’s mood swings control the entire atmosphere of your family then you may be feeling at your child’s mercy. It is definitely difficult to deal with a hostile teen, but a parent mustn’t be off in one corner feeling sorry for herself because her efforts go by unnoticed. This is just the time when your efforts should double, triple even, if one’s initial efforts do not take affect on your troubled teen.
A hostile teen’s violent acts do not empower them but leave them feeling like they have little or no control over themselves. If you do not provide a set structure for them to latch on to, then it is like they are plunging through fast-paced adolescence without a seatbelt.
Another option you may choose for your ADHD teen is behavior modification. This form of treatment focuses on helping your teen recognize his strong points in order to let these points grow. Those that support this type of treatment believe that a kind of treatment based solely on medication does not teach a child how to control his actions. Behavior modification on the other hand has been known to accomplish this with steady reinforcement. This regular reinforcement is not an easy task to accomplish daily but it may be possible with patience and perseverance.
You may consider getting an ADhD coach for your teen. He or she will focus on helping your child utilize coping methods and control behavior. An ADHD coach makes use of both cognitive therapy and behavior modification in treatment. Goodluck!

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