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Help for Troubled Teenagers Forum  


hostile 14 year old - 2007/10/15 22:24 I have a 14 year old boy who just refuses to listen to anything i tell him, I am a single parent he is my second child, I have a older son who is 19 and a younger daughter who is 11. My 14 year old has always been my hard headed child he is very defiant, he believes because he is 14 he can come and go when he pleases not half to tell me where he is at and can come home when he wants, when i punish him it is a joke to him, sometimes i just let him do what he wants because he is starting to stress me out and give me severe headaches, he won't accept no as a answer when i give it to him and he just keeps going on and on and on until i get so mad i have to chase him into his room with a belt. He also is not going well in school, his first year at high school 9th grade and it is more important for him to talk talk talk he is always late for class won't finish his homework believes it's ok to get a D in class because a D is passing, I am at my wits in I wish I could place him in some type of discipline school but i am already in to much debt ( oh I get no child support, the father is not in there life due to his violent behavior and other problems) with credit cards I'm trying to figure out how to help him and myself without getting depressed, any suggestions
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Re:hostile 14 year old - 2007/10/16 10:49 You should be commended for taking good care of your children as a single parent and even being able to deal with all the stress of adolescent issues! If your teen is just making fun of certain punishments, maybe you could try taking the time to simply have a casual talk with him. You could actually surprise him by reacting in this manner to his normal defiance because you’d be showing him that his antics aren’t getting to you. After that, when you have this simple talk you want to comment or remark on all the issues which are concerning you (i.e. academic problems, etc.) but try to do it in a manner where you do not come off as dictating. Slowly, this manner or approach can be useful because if he is used to a different approach, it can be able to influence him in a positive way. It can help get him to open up to you as well. Once you do notice signs of him opening up, this will make it much easier to influence him too. When you feel yourself getting stressed, take a moment to breathe and remember that you deserve praise for your parenting. When you need a break, try and find the time to take it.
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Re:hostile 14 year old - 2007/10/17 20:11 I would like to thank you for your comment and for saying that I should be commanded for taking care of my children, I have been a single parent for 12 years, my oldest son was 7 years old when I became divorced, I think I have received maybe a handful of child support checks for very small amounts, I learned through the mistakes I made with my oldest what not to do with my 14 year old and that is why we have such a time with each other, people don't realize the difference with a single parent then with two, they believe things are the same, people just don't get it I also believe alot of stress is with me because of my debt and what it does not allow me to do with my children I'm looking into a way to resolve it, but I will be tough and not weak, and I will keep strong and stay forward with my children because i am determine to make sure they turn out to be responsible when it is time for them to be out in the world
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Re:hostile 14 year old - 2008/03/26 05:09 The problem is that most parents of strong-willed, out of control teenagers have tried very hard to regain control -- but with little or no success. And
it seems the harder the parent tries, the more the teenager "acts-out."
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