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Boardwalk :: Forum List Parenting Parenting, Discipline and Rules
momovteen
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Teen Caught Smoking - 2008/01/06 00:35 My 14 year old daughter was caught smoking cigarettes. I know this probably sounds minor to some but to us it's a big deal. This is a adolescent who doesn't care what punishment you give her, it doesn't seem to bother her.

She is the 3rd in line of 4 siblings. She's the only who has caused us problems over the years.

If she's by herself, she's a very good kid but she's a follower so when she gets around others, she seems to do what their doing and is always finding the "wrong" friends.

Last year, she tore a dispenser off the bathroom wall to prove she was "tough" and was suspended from school for 3 days.

This year already, she was suspended for 5 days for lying on a written statement on a situation that she witnessed.

So situations are just getting worse as time goes on and I'm wanting to stop it.

My question to you is what has worked for a punishment when you catch your teen smoking. Now I've thought about making her smoke an entire pack of cigarettes til she gets sick.....or....chew an entire can of chewing tobacco...but I'm still undecided. I fear that her body will crave the nicotine if I do follow thru with what I mentioned which will defeat the purpose of her opposing cigarettes. Any suggestions that have worked will be greatly appreciated.
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tti_admin
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Re:Teen Caught Smoking - 2008/01/06 16:08 Finding the right punishment for your teen once you’ve caught her smoking can be the hardest part of disciplining your adolescent. It can definitely be difficult to weigh your teen’s wrongdoings with the appropriate punishment. And many parents have a whole lot of difficulty with finding the mean because of their fear of tipping the scales with the degree of punishment or on the other side having barely any effect at all on their teen. After reading about your ideas for punishments for your daughter (ex. having her smoke an entire pack or cigarettes or chew a whole can of chewing tobacco), what you can opt to do is play it safe and choose the other route. Instead of making her sick of smoking by exposing her to too much of it, you could take away something that she enjoys doing and only let her engage in this activity or hobby again once she has learned her lesson.
Situations where your teen daughter is exposed to bad influences from her peers are some of the hardest issues to conquer. Friends can be extremely important to a teenager at this stage and this means that they can absorb influences easily without the proper guidance or supervision. What you can do is try to introduce her to the right company that could provide her with more positive influences. Simultaneously, this will make it easier for her to detach from those that don’t.
In order to accomplish all of this, you could think of starting with a “chance” occurrence of putting her in a situation where she gets to spend time with a chosen friend of your pick. Hopefully she likes the company and you may take things from there. The right friends can do wonders for a troubled teen. She may become much more accepting towards your proper disciplining.
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CindyRains
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Re:Teen Caught Smoking - 2008/03/09 02:26 I caught my daughter smoking too. I'm a smoker and so she thinks that makes it ok for her, even though she has watched me contantly struggle with quitting. Her excuse is, "well, you do it" Yeah and totally regret the day I ever started.
Its like they know everything, we know nothing so they dont have to listen to us.
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