First and foremost, you must contact your defiant teen’s school if you want to have control over matters. But just as important, although harder to face, you must accept the situation your teenager is putting other students in. It may be hard to think of your own son or daughter as a bully, but denying this fact once you’ve confirmed it with the school would just be counter-productive.
You want to take action as soon as possible in order to alleviate the situation for your teenager and his victim/s. It is important to note that substance abuse (legal and illegal), crimes, and anti-social development are all possible issues your child may be lead to deal with because of his current hostile behavior towards others. You may see the significance of providing your teen with proper guidance at present.
Here are some tips for a parent dealing with a teen bully:
- Make sure you show your disapproval of your child’s hostile behavior. If you (and the school) show how you will not stand for bullying, then your teen may realize his misbehavior more easily.
- Set penalties for your guidelines at home. If your defiant teen does not follow these guidelines then enforce the corresponding penalties accordingly. On the contrary, if he/she keeps to the house rules then make sure to let him/her know you approve of this.
- Even if you may be busy with work or household duties, make it a point each day to have time for your teen. By talking with your teenager, you can find out more about his peer group and know what he’s up to. Positive nurturing and attention actually lessen a child’s compulsion towards hostile acts. If they feel that they have someone to turn to, they may not need to turn to destructive behavior.
- You may also encourage your teen to dominate in a constructive way, by joining a sport wherein structure is provided. Instead of leaving him to find his own things to do with his after-school time, you may aid him in discovering his creative talents. This act can also help with the positive reinforcement of his self-image.
- After consulting your teen’s school and following the other tips accordingly with still no positive results, you may choose to consult with a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. Therapy or medication may be just what your teenager needs to get back on track.
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