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Boardwalk :: Forum List Boarding Schools, Boot Camps, Wilderness Programs When is enough enough?
Mark
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I'm the parent! - 2006/08/25 01:00 Every time that my teen and I fight, she always wins. I give up on our arguments. I get so fed up of the yelling that I just let her have the last word. I think that it has actually come to a point where the parental structure may have even been turned around. She’s telling me that she will do this or she will go there, instead of it being her asking for permission to do something or go somewhere. Where do I take things from here? I want to regain my proper place as parent.
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Re:I'm the parent! - 2006/08/25 01:02 It sounds like your daughter may be in the need for some ‘tough love’. Your love for your teenager may be what’s keeping you from disciplining her as you should, even when this very love should be exactly what pushes you on to provide her with proper discipline. It may sound impossible for a parent, but in a way you should be able to de-sensitize yourself and view her actions objectively. This will give you the chance to discipline her and her defiance properly. By the looks of things, it’s like she has forgotten the meaning of respect and you are going to have to remind her. In order to accomplish this, you must remind yourself that you are doing this for your teen’s sake and in teaching her a lesson you are letting her peek into a window with a brighter future for you both.
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kobyant
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Re:I'm the parent! - 2007/09/20 03:29 I am having the same problem with my teen son who is 15.
He has started cursing at me, and tells me to shut up.
He is now in trouble and we will be going to court on the 21st. I pray that the judge orders him to counseling, because he will not let me take him. I have been divorced for 6 years now, and thought if I just devoted myself to my children that they would be okay. I am also at my wits end. He rules the house and his father is of no support. I have always been there for my children, and they have more than I ever had as a child. I just do not know what went wrong. I hope you find help, and I will let you know what happens. I just cannot take anymore.
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kid4lif4
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Re:I'm the parent! - 2007/09/23 15:15 first of all you have all the power and authority to not allow him to go anywhere and to do nothing .. i dont know how your work day is but if at all possible the boy needs to know that he only has the freedom that you allow him to have ... i mean you have to buy his clothes ... games .. extra money he uses to be with his friends... so if it is possible to make so that you are there to drop him off at school and there to pick him up ... he is not to leave the house unless you have checked with the friends parents and you have met them and approve of their rules .... i know most work but it is when kids are with their friends that they learn most of what parents fear that kids will somehow get wrapped up in .. what did he do to go to court? he has to know that you mean it and his yelling and cussing can not make you bend ... have expectations for him and chances for him to earn his freedoms so that he can build some sense of accomplishment and feel good about when he gets to do something ... his entitlement while you give him all the freedom to be out there where he is making decisions on his own and surrounded by young individuals who have parents that you dont know or even may not ever like your son to be around.... do not threaten him ... give him choices that are both limited to what you allow him to do ... talk to the teachers.... being involved in what he has interest in is the fastest way to build bridges with him ... just allow him to do what he wants when he earns it and be there with him until he can be trusted... make a contrat with him and let him have say in what he feels should be rules for him ... when you make decisions be very sure and have an explanation that helps him see that the principles of doing what is right is where you have based your decision ... but you have to be living as an example or he will shoot you right where you are not doing as you say but they only know you by your actions ... hippocracy is the underminer of childrens respect for authority .. be honest .. purposeful and dont all him to make you bend no matter how much he yells cusses or threatens....
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