mskane
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right to privacy or right for concern??? - 2007/10/03 01:30
Here is a little background for assistance with guiding my husband and I in the right direction...
My 14 year old daughter has a lot on her plate. She is actually my step-daughter; she and her brother lives with us and are treated the same as our biological children. There is a history of drug abuse on their mother's side and she has two other little brothers that live with their mom. She, of course, feels respondible for protecting her brothers and has no control of them when she is at home. She doesn't feel her mother wants her around when they do have visitation with her because she is always sending her and her brothers elsewhere.
My husband and I decided to move our family out to the country in a neighboring state. We only live 7 miles from our old house, but the children all had to change schools and she took that hard at first but we left it up to her and she decided to go to the new school instead of starting high school in the town we moved from. She seems to enjoy her new school and has had no trouble making new friends. Now for the topic of my problem...
She has seemed withdrawn lately when she has been home. She will go to her bedroom and only come out when we request it. Therefore, when I came across her journal when I was getting laundry out of her room I decided to scan it. Privacy has always been a big thing with our family but I feel something has been going on. I feel bad but relieved for looking at it. I found out that things are indeed, not ok. There are bits of talk about cutting herself, althiugh I haven't seen any evidence of it. The biggest concern is talk of suicide. How she just hopes that she just wont wake up one morning. My father-in-law commited suicide when my daughter was 4 and it's a very touchy subject for my husband. There is also talk of a boy that she told me she stays away from now. The "boy" is 18!!! My daughter is only 14! I heard her talking to this guy on the phone one night in the car and it isn't a healthy relationship in the first place. At this time she told me the guy was 15. Now months later she still calls this guy who doesn't want to talk to her. He doesn't answer most of the time when she calls and when he does it is rudely. It's obvious to me that she is obsessed with him. She calls him a lot from what I saw in her journal (sometimes at 12 and 1 o'clock in the morning)
We have her going to a counselor for the problems she has had with her mom but now all this "new" info that is downright scary tht I am not supposed to have or to be privvy to. Do we confront her? Will that just give her a good shove in the wrong direction? HELP
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