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Help for Troubled Teenagers Forum  


Teenager dealing with sick parent - 2007/02/22 07:12 My husband and I are separated. He has MS and is getting worse. My daughter cannot handle seeing him deteriorating and refuses to go over and see him. He, in turn, misses her because he used to see her everyday when she was in high school, and now that he doesn't get to see her as often, sends her emails that upset her. She feels very guilty and selfish for not going there, yet she can't bring herself to because it upsets her so much. I am caught in the middle here because he doesn't stop with the emails and I have tried to get her to go there, but was attacked by her, saying why should I care about him, I separated from him. I've also tried telling her that maybe if she could just put aside her own feelings and see things from his perspective, try to set a regular time when she would see him, it might make her and him feel better. I feel that this may not make her feel less upset, but less guilty and selfish. She wants to know if he is dying, and I was wondering if that were the case, if it would get her to see him more or not.

Anyone else dealing with something like this? I really don't know what to do anymore. She is already taking meds for depression and sees a therapist once a week.
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Re:Teenager dealing with sick parent - 2007/02/26 19:28 The fact that your daughter is taking medication for depression and undergoing therapy regularly is good. The feelings of your daughter which you described are not uncommon for a teenager faced with this type of situation. But as she is already getting help with processing her emotions during this delicate period, you mustn’t expect too much from her too fast. The way a person deals with accepting sickness in the family really depends on the individual herself. There is no set timetable for acceptance. Support your daughter during this period.
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