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Boardwalk :: Forum List Reading the Signs Problem teen or normal behaviour?
SCLIQ
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What to Do?? Need Advice & Thoughts - 2007/12/18 20:48 Background:
My ninth grade girl (14) is an honors student with all A's & has been on a science team which has won state championships & gone to national level each year since her 6th grade.

This year they are only allowed to have 5 9th grade students & 6 are on the team so she has been having issues with the fear of the one being "dropped" that has concerned me.

NOW:
I discovered last night that at a practice last weekend she & a fellow 9th grade boy slipped away & "made out" to the point of masturbating each other. This is a boy she has known for years but is in no way a boyfriend or a desired one.

My kneejerk reaction is to remove her from the team.
We did talk & hug all last night. I explained I understand teenage sexuality and the shock was suprising but I am not mad or consider it a wrongful act because I was a teen myself. However, I am concerned on her judgement of who (not a boy interested or dating & when & where it took place.

She said she understood & respected my decision if I remove her from the team.

However, I am scared to death to do the wrong thing and affect her adversely. Granted I have been very concerned how she would react if she is the one dropped from the team and feel perhaps this avoids that but is it right reaction to what occurred?

Help!

Thanks,
Lisa
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tti_admin
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Re:What to Do?? Need Advice & Thoughts - 2007/12/20 10:18 It is normal for any teen who is aspiring for a certain goal to really feel the jitters as she waits for the outcome. But from your description of your daughter’s background, it seems that academics is her strongpoint and if you were to discipline her about her judgment regarding the act she committed, it should probably be in a different aspect of her life, non-academic related. Disciplining her in an aspect which she is doing great at could actually give off the wrong message. Instead, if there is a certain negative aspect or issue about her personal behavior that you have been tolerating at home, you could choose to use this as your discipline by no longer tolerating it or cutting down the time which you allow her to engage in it. As nervous or scared she may be of being “dropped” from the science team, this is a fear which she should learn to face and pick herself up from. Shielding her from challenges such as this could make her afraid of trying and pushing her abilities in the future. Your daughter has so much potential to be reaching her aspirations.
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Boardwalk :: Forum List Reading the Signs Problem teen or normal behaviour?

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