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not a new topic -same as others-teenage daughter - 2008/02/14 17:25 I have a 14 yr old daughter and I am not liking her lately. In the beginning she as me to trust her to leave her all alone at home. I said,"ok". Come to find out she has been letting her friends in my house while I'm working or going to exercise. Also come to find out she is sexually active now. Just the other night she called me into her room and said that she was sad but don't know why.She was on a punishment. I just sat there and listened. The next morning I asked her how she was doing and she said ok. I ask her if she felt any remorse about her behavior and she first shook her head and said "no" but then she shook her head and said "yes". I don't believe she has no remorse and I don't trust her. I don't like her friends. She has placed herself in their position and she is thinking her life at home is the most terrible place. I took the telephone away the computer away. I got her into a dance program and so far all is well. But there is a underline emotion of her snickness. There is more but I'm at my wits end. I want to get rid of her. I love her and it hurts that she is treating me like this. I'm troubled, help
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Re:not a new topic -same as others-teenage daughter - 2008/02/16 10:49 If it feels like your teen is ruling the home, it can be definitely discouraging on your part to provide guidance. But here’s the tough part, your teenager is exactly showing that she needs guidance even more!
It may be helpful to approach your teenager in a non-aggressive way at a time where you know that her temperament is not particularly sensitive or vulnerable. Show her that you are not the enemy here! In fact you want her to know that you are quite the opposite. And if at times you do impose guidelines or rules for her, it’s not because you take pleasure in taking enjoyment away from your teen. It’s because your concern for her prompts you to help her achieve a balance in her lifestyle.
Now, if you try and explain this to a teenager, most likely she will leave you with a puzzled look on her face. Explaining balance to a teen with raging hormones and a particular zest for life that is characteristic of adolescence can appear quite nerve-racking. But even if you may feel like your explaining could be pointless, don’t give up. Try your best to leave your teenager with some accurate understanding of the reasons behind your rules or guidelines.

Friends can be extremely important to a teenager at this stage and this means that they can absorb influences easily without the proper guidance or supervision. What you can do is try to introduce her to the right company that could provide her with more positive influences. Simultaneously, this will make it easier for her to detach from those that don’t. By sharing experiences and secrets of your own with your daughter, she can feel like opening up to you. If she won’t open up to you first, try and be the one to open up to her.
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Re:not a new topic -same as others-teenage daughter - 2008/03/26 05:04 The problem is that most parents of strong-willed, out of control teenagers have tried very hard to regain control -- but with little or no success. And
it seems the harder the parent tries, the more the teenager "acts-out."
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