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self-esteem issues - 2008/03/13 02:16 My daughter just turned 16. She is a very sweet, loving girl - genuinely liked by everyone. She has many close friends, but no boyfriend. She did have one last summer, but it was a long distance relationship. She has huge self-esteem issues. She is Mexican born, adopted at 18 months. She has always known she is adopted and has never realy had any issues with it. She asked questions when she was younger and we tried to answer all of them as best we could. She never even brings it up anymore.

She is very short, only 4'11" and has a very large chest. She is convinced she is a freak. All she talks about is having breast reduction surgery when she is older. Has even talked to the Doctor about it. She does have a hard time finding appropriate clothing, so she always wears huge sweatshirts to try and cover herself up. She thinks she is ugly, fat and all the rest. She is anything but. Other people always comment on how beautiful she is.

She has been so excited about her 16th birthday, starting to drive in a few months, etc. We are having a modified Quinceanera for her the beginning of May and she is happy about that too.

She had a birthday dinner with her friends here at home last night. Everthing went great, they all had a really good time. She went to bed and about an hour later got up, just beside herself crying. She told me that she didn't want to be 16, didn't want to get old and wanted to be a little girl again. I tried to get her to tell me what she was afraid of, but only got "I don't know" type answers.

She is also very shy with teachers and other adults. Her school work is ok. She has a slight learning disability and is enrolled in an IEP Program. She needs to work really hard to maintain a B- to C Average. She wants to be nurse.

She does not want to talk to a professional. Is it counter-productive to force her to see someone> [img]

Post edited by: diannekw, at: 2008/03/13 02:19
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Re:self-esteem issues - 2008/03/13 19:20 Your daughter needs to realize she's beautiful! She definitely needs a confidence boost. She must be struggling with self-image issues. What you can do is be very positive and always remind her of her good qualities. If this kind of negative thinking persists, it would be beneficial for her if you let her speak with a counselor or therapist. She is still young and her self-image issues can definitely be treated. If not, these issues can actually grow to become even heavier (they can develop into eating disorders, depression, or self-harm). It could help too if she feels constantly appreciated. The negative mindset which may come with her self-image issues needs positive reassurance in order to fight against it. Your patience and understanding will be needed as well. With your positive care and concern, you can get your daughter to begin to see the glass as half full. Take a look at this article, it may be helpful:

http://www.troubledteensinfo.com/Troubled_Teens/Definitions/Troubled_teen_self-concept/
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